I've only been to a Bondage Nightclub once. It was when I was working at Abbott Hospital. One of the nurses was celebrating a birthday and invited many of her co-workers to the club in Minneapolis. You can imagine how apprehensive I was to go to such a place, what, with me being a theology professor and all. What kind of sick, perverted things would I expose myself to? Was I taking the first step towards an inevitable downward spiral into the furthest depths of carnal debauchery? What would my co-workers think of my God when they see me stepping into such a place?
Fortunately, it only took me a few minutes to see the nightclub for what it really was. Yes, there were cages hanging from the ceiling with women dancing and contorting themselves into suggestive positions. Yes, there was thumping, haunting music and leather-clad people dancing erotically on the dance floor next to a giant pulpit with an upside-down cross. If I was a little less perceptive, I might have been deeply disturbed by what I saw. But then, up near a mezzanine where two women were connected by their facial piercings, and through the fake smoke (used to create a sense of haunting mystery I guess), I saw, in absurd contrast, a glowing red EXIT sign.
The absurdity of the sign exposed what was really happening. Think about it: The whole atmosphere was intended to be erotic, perverted, twisted, BAD, immoral, dark. "Come explore your darkest, deepest, most secret desires, and IN CASE OF FIRE EXIT HERE!" It was so contrived. The stain-glassed church windows, the upside down cross, the cages, the smoke, and "Bud Light Is Refreshing!" signs that glowed from from random places in the stupid, misty ambiance.
But the really sad thing was that you could see people giving themselves over to the contrived narrative. People danced and postured in sexually suggestive ways, with erotic expressions and outfits designed to conform to the big lie. Why they gave themselves over to it, well... I have psychological speculations that maybe I'll discuss some other time. But the fact is, they wanted this certain experience (whatever that experience was) SO BADLY that they chose to ignore the way things really were around them, ignoring the elements that contradicted the lie, and acted as if it were all true: Acting as if they really were some strange sex slaves in some demonic underworld, somehow obligated to sensually satisfy themselves despite "the horrid shame of it all" (the religious stuff, by the way, is meant to fuel the flames of shame). Of course, the more demonic and shameful the more they would be aroused.
Some time later I was at a local mega-church during a worship service and happened to notice, through the darkness of the room, past the black tapestries (intended to "blacken out" any sense of the real world), through the mysterious mist billowing from the "mysterious mist" machines, and on both sides of the stage, two glowing EXIT signs. Then I looked at the worshippers giving themselves over to the music, with reverent postures (arms to the sky) and transcendent (almost erotic) expressions. Of course, I was immediately hit with sudden dread and fear that my religion might be a big lie like the bondage nightclub; the whole ambiance contrived to create a sense of reverence and transcendence.
The issue is pressing. Is there really some big person up there that we are singing to and raising our hands to? Is there a heavenly audience? Or is this all a big, dumb religious show? Where is this audience? Where is this God?
Some believers claim to "experience" God. I do not necessarily disbelieve them. But they certainly do not experience God like the disciples (see John leaning back and resting against Jesus' chest in John 13:23, 21:20) or like Adam and Eve (where God is rustling through the bushes in the cool of the day; see Genesis 3). And even if they do actually experience God, does every believer? Can I know that I am experiencing God? Doesn't Satan come as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14)? This is tough for me. There have been 2 occasions where I have had experiences that I have convinced myself were special experiences of God's grace. One in Mexico when I was 19 and one on December 9th of 2005. Both of these incidents lasted several hours and I could clearly sense when each started and ended. They both involved an incredible sense of peace. They both involved an uncanny sense of vision and clarity. And they both preceded significant character change in my life. But do I know that they were experiences of God's grace? No. I really don't. They could have been anything. In fact, they both followed highly emotional incidents as well, and could have been a normal psychological defense against emotional stress.
Even if it was God's grace, must I know it to be so? I really do not think so. The God of the Bible expresses deep desire to be our God and for us to worship only him. But he is not a needy God. He doesn't need to "get credit" for every good thing that he does. He does things because he loves us, not so that he is loved by us. The reality remains that God is hidden, and yet we are called to increase in faith. God's hiddenness creates anxiety and many people want to eliminate this anxiety by seeing God in many places. They observe and proclaim "what God is doing in my life," as if they just received an e-mail from him outlining his tactical plan for their life. They proclaim "where God wants me right now" as if they just recently returned from God's office in Omaha. Again, I am fully open to the possibility that I simply lack "spiritual eyes." I really am. But God is hidden. Humanity was kicked out of the Garden. And I just think some people (indeed, many people) proclaim things about what God is doing and they have NO CLUE what God is doing. I know this is not "nice," but my reverence for God prevents me from making claims about God that are not well founded. But maybe I am letting my reverence get in my way. Maybe I am supposed to be trying to figure out what God is doing, but I really don't think so. I think we are called to seek WHO GOD IS, not what God is doing.
And the real tragedy that I see, in my opinion, is that the people who often proclaim what God is "doing in my life" often proclaim that WHO God is "is a mystery." My reading of the Scriptures doesn't resonate with this at all. In fact, I think it is totally backwards. I believe we are created to know who God is and to seek out who God is, while what God is doing is God's business and beyond our comprehension. God (himself and what he does) is hidden. Who God is has been revealed.